Trying Again

Just in case you haven't heard...

2012-01-31T16:46:00.002-05:00

A judge in India made us the proud parents of a new daughter last week. We are now the PARENTS of Varsha Hope Phillips. FOREVER!!!
Presenting our newest Princess. Varsha Hope Phillips.

Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-25T14:37:00.002-05:00

Psalm 55:22 - Seeds Family Worship - "Cast Your Cares"

2011-11-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

I know that He will sustain us through this time of trial. I know that satan is speaking to my heart daily. Trying to discourage me. Adding stress to this situation. I also know that weeks ago God lead me to hide Philipians 4:6 and 7 in my heart. I saw the verse and could recite it. God will continue to sustain our family as we wait. We continue to fight for the opportunity to form more arrows.

Day 6- Orphan Sunday

2011-11-06T07:29:00.000-05:00

One day out of 365.
Can you please stop today and pray for orphans? Pray for families that are trudging through paperwork, or waiting for approvals, or the orphans who don't have a family yet?
Remember that we are adopted by God, to be brother and sisters in Christ.
Co-Heirs to the throne.
Adoption is so important that God showed up exactly how it works. He allowed us to become part of his family. Heirs to the promises of the Bible.
Christ has given you a new life.
Can you give a child of God a new life?

Day 5- Adoption Support

2011-11-05T07:14:00.000-04:00

(One of 4 family photos taken with the automatic timer because we didn't have anyone to ask to take them for us.)
Adoption is hard. Like child birth hard. You never know what is going to be asked of you next. You have to depend on complete strangers to approve your family. You have to wait. You have to trust a complete stranger to make sure your child is healthy, not hurting or sick. You have to wait. You have to pray that laws won't change once you've seen that precious face and you are stuck apart forever.
Adoption is expensive. Like college expensive. Its worth it but really how much disposable income can one family have. Other people missing deadlines and it cost you more money. It nerve-racking. Then the car breaks down, you need new tires, something will go wrong.
Your family starts to live in a glass box. You always stand out. Its called being conspicuous. People start asking if your kids are really brothers and sisters. They ask what happen to their parents, like you aren't their mom. Rude questions. Why are they so short? Why are they so tiny? "Oh, they are so lucky to have you."
Many times adoptive families need someone to just treat them like normal people. Many adoptive families need help raising money. Many times families just need a note saying that you care.
Adoption is hard.
Adoptive families need emotional support and financial support. It makes a huge difference in our life.

Day 4-Foster Care and Older Children

2011-11-04T07:13:00.000-04:00

Did you know there are 100,000 kids in the United States waiting for homes? Legally free for adoption.
Did you know that kids just age out of the foster care system? Poof. Your 18. Good luck.
I mean if they have a nice foster family, they might have a place to live. Can you guess how hard it is for some of these kids to develop good life skills?
Sometimes the loss they've encountered makes it hard to have good social skills.
A 16 year old boy deserves a home as much as a newborn. He deserves a positive role model to show him how to get a job, how to treat a lady, how to fix a flat tire or leaking faucet. He deserves someone to push him to dream of all the good he could do.
So many older couples raise their kids and are done. Why not jump in one more time? Why not try to make a difference in ONE life? I know it isn't easy. Its exactly the opposite. Satan wants that young man.
As Christians, I think we should try to answer the call in a huge way and STEAL. HIM. BACK.
Speak life and light over that 16 year old boy lost in the foster care system.
Some please stand up and help these boys. Lost in our own system.

Day 3-Prasun

2011-11-03T07:00:00.000-04:00

November 3, 2008.
This day is a great anniversary in our house.

"Today was the day. I'm gonna keep it short today and try to update tomorrow. It's a fluke that I have an internet connection.
Prasun is too sweet and too cute.
He is very confused and shell shocked by all the changes right now. I've gotten him to sleep right now for the night. I'll write more later. I can barely stay awake."

Taken from Prasun's Home. Written after we got to the hotel from the orphanage.
November 3, 2008 was the 2nd time I held Prasun. This time forever. No takesy backsy. Mine, mine, all mine.
It was the journey to learning all about my boy. I know him so well now. I know when he's stubborn, mad, tired, full. Everyone knows when he is happy. Prasun shares that. He is a ray of sunshine.
I can't imagine our life without this boy. I wouldn't want it. I'm so glad we took the plunge. Even when most people thought we were crazy. We almost decided to adopt before we got our suitcase unpacked. (Truthfully, I decided before I even packed them. I knew.)
The process was long. It was expensive. We really didn't have a back up. We just got home from India. I was emotionally worn out from waiting so long.
I would do it again in an instant just to have this little boy. He's awesome.
You never know what kind of blessings you could be missing. Between 1.4 and 1.65 MILLION orphans are waiting for a mom and dad.
Are you going to step up?

Day 2- Our First Glimpse

2011-11-02T07:00:00.000-04:00

Nothing will ever beat the day that I met kids.
The day Anthony was born. Awesome!
The day I held Ananya. Relief!
The same day I got to hold Prasun. A gift!
(In case you're new to our story, we met Prasun when we picked up Ananya. Came home and immediately started collecting paperwork again.)
These 2 have been together for so long. The shared a crib in India. I don't even know how long. These 2 are inseparable now.
The road was long. The road was hard. This is the road we find again and again. I can't save them all. I'll save the ones God blesses me with.
I'll praise Him every day for these blessings.

30 Days for Adoption

2011-11-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

I took this video from HIS HANDS HIS FEET TODAY because this family is adorable. You can see their heart to be His hands and feet. One of favorite blogs.
I'm going to try to post everyday in November. I'm going to try to give everyone 30 reasons to consider adoption.
I'll share my heart. I'll share our life. I might even share some websites with photo listings.
Adoption is near and dear to my family's heart. We didn't adopt as a second choice. This has been our first choice to have children. Orphans are kids. No child EVER deserves to be thought of as a second choice.
Would you like to be your spouse's second choice (like on the Bachelor)?
My kids are absolutely fabulous. God had a great plan when He chose us to be their parents. I'm thankful for this blessing 365 days a year.
So could you let God change your life with 1 of the 1.4 million orphans?
Trust me. Its big.

Life

2011-10-16T17:54:00.000-04:00

So long since I've updated. Just really didn't want to because I just want Varsha home. Working toward that goal is wearing me out. Emotionally, I'm ready for a break. I know my break is coming.
We are 2 months into our school year.
Anthony is in the 8th grade this year. I just don't know where the time is going. We are working on lots of accountability. Getting work done without being told 15 times. Doing work completely and well. He is doing alittle better.
We are reading some classic literature. 1 book per month. Study guides to review the books. Writing summaries of history reading.
Anthony is turning into a chicken farmer. We have 15 chickens and 2 ducks. Anthony takes great care of them on his own. We have lots of eggs obviously.
I've got lots of field trips planned. I have some things I want Anthony to work through.
-Babysitting class through the Red Cross
-Extreme environment class through Red Cross
-Online Hunting and Gun safety class
-Small patch of garden for him to tend
-continue with band playing trombone
-beginning money management concepts including having a checking account and using a debit card (lot of supervision)
Some things that are not necessarily for this year:
-Dave Ramsey teen class
-One year Adventure Novel
-finding ways earn income
Ananya and Prasun are maturing. I can't believe it. I looked at Ananya about 6 months ago and realized the baby was gone. She was my daughter, a little girl. I also realized I had to change how we treated her. It was giving her dignity to be carried around all the time. We bought new strollers. We got high chairs so they can sit at the table like little kids and not babies. I've started considering our school options. I have to figure out the best way to teach both of them. It is alittle complicated. I have to consider each of their strengths. I have to figure out which skills to push them to accomplish and which skills aren't as important. I have to figure out how to teach Ananya to read without hearing her do it.
I've tried Time 4 Learning. It seems to work well. We'll probably go with it for now.
I'm hoping to have a good schedule when I'm done fundraising (working extra). I'm hoping for
-3 days of "school" on the computer for each child
-2 days of therapy for each child
-daily read aloud together
-Bible verse and catechism memorization
-Reading lessons at a child lead pace
I definitely have some things to work on personally. I need to be more consistent in my routines. Some changes to make me healthier. Some changes to keep me focused.
-Become consistent in eating healthier choices.
-Include regular exercise
-Spend time each day reading the Bible
-Plan some fun things that I want to do and/or learn (canning jelly, baking projects, sewing projects).
-Consistent with my personal chores (household cleaning schedule) and ensuring that the kids are keeping up with their responsibilities.
My biggest problem area lately is something I need to work on NOW.
As Mom, I set the mood for our house. If I'm joyful, then the others will follow. If I'm nasty and grouchy then they follow that. If I'm spending my time doing what I want without doing what I have to do, then the kids will follow that example.
As of today, I'm chosing JOY. I'm going to thank God for what we are walking through. He is doing great thinks in our house. I know that our family is being an example to others without saying a word. Our actions are speaking louder than our words. I have to make sure my actions are telling the story I want others to hear.
We will just continue to wait to hear from India. I'll try to keep Varsha's blog updated with adoption updates.
I hope you all have a great fall. I'll try to come up with some things to say that will inspire my friends.

Update

2011-07-03T23:37:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile since I've updated anyone about anything.
What can I say, life has been very busy for me.
We finally have our paperwork on its way to India (or already there). We finish immigration paperwork here. I'm emailing for Article 5 tonight. Hoping to see some movement soon. Craving my baby.
We are focusing on fundraising here. It is SLOW going. Hoping to get some donations and find some great fundraising events.
The kids are doing great. Ananya is learning to read. It's slow going because I'm using phonics and that isn't the easiest way to teach a child with severe speech problems. I'm doing it purposefully because she is making so many new sounds too. That is great. She seems to understand it so that's very good.
Prasun is walking and getting stronger. We aren't seeing the huge gains we had been seeing but slow and steady is good too.
Both kids got their new Special Tomato strollers (I Love Them!). They are alot more comfortable in them. Hoping to get new high chairs/booster seats for them at some point.
We've been so busy making changes in how we do things around here. We are finding some things that work and some that don't. We are changing some things for just a short period of time and some for long term. Of course all families do this. Change is necessary. Its hard when its not necessarily the change that you want to see, but the one that has to be made.
Well I'm going to get off the computer now. Going to a great 4th of July party with some amazing families. Hoping to see more of them in the future. Hopefully I'll also have some more pictures to share.

A Call to Help

2011-05-26T09:27:00.001-04:00

I just read my Facebook feed and felt the need to post a story here. Hopefully someone other than my "India" momma friends are reading. Hopefully this will find its ways to someone to help.
For a couple of years I've heard about Sarah's Covenant Homes in India. Its something known by most of us Indian adoptive families. It became very real to me recently. See, there is a long list of people who have always wanted to adopt Varsha. The young lady running SCH is no exception. The difference is that when India said "no", God moved. No really,
GOD MOVED!!!!
In huge ways. They house 82 children now. Almost all have some sort of neurological problems. Seizure disorders, cerebral palsy, spina bifida and such. These kids are like my kids. Anyone remember when Ananya came home from India? Anyone remember a 2 year old that couldn't eat because her tongue just did not know how to move liquid? Anyone remember the 16 pound 2 year old who couldn't crawl? These are the kids that she houses. They have lost a few from seizures and other medical problems.
What bothers me is that some of the deaths could be prevented. They desperately need medical equipment. They need training to learn how to use it. Just a portable suction machine could save lives for kids with seizures. Just having mickey buttons for kiddos getting tube feeds could nourish a child. Just having the money could provide a life changing surgery.
My kids get their medical needs met because of health insurance. That isn't the case in India (well you may be able to get insurance, but these kids are orphans. They truly belong to no one :0( except the One that created them" fearfully and wonderfully made"). The medical procedures and medications needed are paid for with cash. That seems crazy by our standards. It isn't though. The cost is so much less than our procedures. A couple hundred to a couple thousand dollars. A couple hundred dollars to let a child hear, walk, or to protect them from a life-threatening infection. In the course of a year, I'll bet most people spend that on McD's or Starbucks. I'm not saying you shouldn't have those things. I'm saying that could you please find a way to help. Just a little bit. Even $20 a month by 5 people will add up to $1200. If each person brought 1 more person to help, well then it would add up further.
If you don't think you can give or don't trust the need (BTW she lists a link to her monthly budget on website), then you could go. She needs medical personnel to help train the staff. Infection prevention, basic CPR, how to use new medical equipment, and how to treat life threatening conditions. It would be an awesome trip. India is like nothing else you have ever seen. It is gorgeous and yet poverty is everywhere. The people are hospitable. I have enjoyed both trips greatly and can't wait until we have guardianship and can head back.
If you want to read more about the kids, there is a category for each of the kids on the side bar. I'll warn you though, its addictive. These kids are precious. I just want to bring all of them home. (I'm sure that doesn't surprise anyone.) I'll link to one child in particular. Her name is Aloe. She is a tiny, tiny sweety who has multiple medical problems. She is such a fighter. I hope she conquers it all to accomplish great things.
All about Aloe.
The story that sparked my interest completely. My Varsha. Yes that is my baby. She is changing lives all over the globe.

Christianity, Adoption and Birth Family Loss

2011-05-16T12:55:00.000-04:00

I've encountered a situation in my life that I've had a unique perspective because of our adoptions and that has made me rethink some things in the life of our family.
First let me start with a short explanation. I'm a new Christian. I've always believed in God. I knew about Jesus. I did believe. I didn't however "get it". I wasn't really raised in a church. I knew sunday school bible stories, but didn't know that people, other than scholars, read and studied their bible. I just had never seen it.
Then, while waiting for Ananya, I found a website called "Biblical Womanhood" (unfortunately the author has now deleted the blog). I started reading about a push back against feminism, biblical marriage, and of course Biblical Womanhood. This was definitely not how I was raised. Most of this was new to me. Then much later, I found a challenge to read the bible in 90 days. I dove right in and was hooked. That 90 days changed my life. I did the challenge one more time. I brought a friend down the journey that time and we both were changed. I'm completely changed from the inside out.
Now onto the topic at hand.
I've discovered that by adopting children from a country with little christian influence, our children will experience another loss. One that isn't discussed much. I've never read about it in adoption literature. What about if our children's parents don't believe? What if no one reaches them? Logically, as believers, we know. If no one reaches our children's reaches our children's birth parents, then they are lost. FOREVER. I hate that thought. There are 3 women who I pray will be reached.
This realization has changed my perspective. I know orphan care is important. Supporting the poor is vital. Of new importance to me is the fact that my family needs to support local missionaries. Men and women in the areas my children are from who are working hard and risking their lives to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I just have to pray every day that someone can reach them. I just have to pray that my children will not be without their birth family for eternity.
All of this is going on in my mind right now. One day my kids will understand all of this. One day my kids will get that they may be separated from their birth family for eternity. There probably won't be a chance for them to tell their birth parents about Jesus.
Its hard. For right now, my kids don't understand any of this. Birth parents have been lost in a sea of doctors appointments and therapy sessions. They know about India and being adopted. But birth families is just beyond their comprehension.
Right now, I'm worrying and thinking of all this for them. Right now, a friend of mine has brought this to my attention through personal circumstances. Right now, I'm praying for my friend's salvation. Right now, I'm praying my friend will come home safely from a very dangerous place they are traveling with the military. Right now, I am on my face daily begging for my friend, as well as the birth parents of all my children.
I have no idea how many beloved people I have lost to Satan. I am afraid that my friend won't be reached in time because they have lost someone close. My friend was too young to know Jesus. Therefore there was no way to witness to the person they lost. Now, they are facing another loss. A loss that rivals the first one. Too young to have to have dealt with this let alone to face it again. I pray for someone to reach my friend. A 20 year friendship. Great talent and great passion. This one I don't want to lose.
I'm sure other people have thought about this. I'm not the first to travel this road.
All I can ask is for prayers. For my friend. Salvation and safety. If salvation comes, then the loss won't be eternal.
Secondly, prayers and help. Help to support the missionaries facing death and abuse to spread the Gospel.
Today, I'm begging God to become so real that its impossible to deny his existence. There are some very important people I would like to spend eternity with. Salvation is a beautiful thing. I'm so happy that I know it is spreading. Just please save a few important people for me.

Special Needs Parenting

2011-04-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

I love advocating for special needs adoption. I really do.
I don't think people are willing to open their minds enough with pre-adoption checklists. It seems so abstract. If you give birth to a child, they ask you for a list of conditions you could handle. You figure it out when God hands it to you.
I'm not downing anyone for not accepting a diagnosis though. We've been there. We have changed our mind on a couple of the no's we started with and can't take some of the things we really could have dealt with early on because of our children in the house now. Frankly, I wouldn't have at least one of my kids if someone else had said yes. I'm happy they did. I got a son.
Special needs parenting isn't easy. It's stressful. Its tiring. And it's very lonely. That's the hardest.
It's lonely.
You see. We have days that are completely taken up by doctor's appointments. We have afternoons that are taken up at the therapists office. We have weeks, maybe months that are spent isolated to some degree because someone had surgery and needs to recover. Some weeks its hard to find time to connect with other people. That gets lonely.
The delays.
Our kids are delayed. They spent 2 and 3 1/2 years in an orphanage. They didn't get one to one time. They didn't get parents. They got their crib. No one read stories to them at bedtime. They have mobility problems that are compounded by their early years. They can't just run and play with their peers. What 5 year old will sit still at the park?
The conspicuous-ness.
It only takes a second to realize our kids have medical conditions. I mean crossed eyes, stiff muscle tone, not talking, and of course the throwing up (which I'm sure are actually seizures). We get looks. I hate when people ask Ananya what her name is. She can't reply in a way that they understand. They walk away seeing my daughter as something other than she is. The worst part is that she knows. She won't talk to other people the way she talks at home. She seals up like a clam in public. Even with the therapists that have worked with her for several years. The therapists are just now starting to see what Ananya can do. She still surprises Patrick and I from time to time.
With our third adoption, people (even family) like to ask us if "there is anything wrong with this one?"
A: "this one" is my child, my daughter. She is perfect. She has a name. Varsha. We love her dearly, so please stop talking now.
B: There is nothing wrong with my other kids. Your high blood pressure, diabetes, or obesity aren't seen as "wrong". Please don't degrade my children. That's rude.
We don't have alot of play dates. My kids don't get invited to many birthday parties. People I work with have kids that are my kids age. They get together. We are never invited. We mostly get seen as "that family" then "bless their heart" is thrown in there.
I don't mean to push people away from special needs adoption. Lots of kids with special needs lead completely normal lives. Mostly you would never know. My kids have a higher level need. But kids like mine are the most in danger. In some orphanages, these are the kids that are left in dying rooms. These are the kids that are put into state care (in countries that don't have established social systems like the US). These kids are the ones that even in the US have to live in group homes or medical centers. These kids take time. They HAVE to have a parent who will fight for them.
Most of all these kids need families to love them. Unconditionally. Forever. That gives them a future. It gives them a chance.
I know some people (more than I care to admit) would see my kids as the leftovers. The kids that are left once all the other referrals have been given out. They are so precious to us. They are our first choice. They are our inspiration.
No one will ever know how happy I was the first time Ananya said "I love you". She had been home for 3 years. She had shown me in every way she could. We finally got her medicine dose adjusted. She could finally chew her food. More sounds were coming out. Then she said it, I melted. How could I not? I knew how much work that she put into those 3 words. I had struggled right along with her.
No one will ever know the joy I get watching Prasun walk in circles in the driveway. 3 years ago, he was an orphan. It was highly unlikely he would ever get out of an orphanage. He couldn't take care of himself. Now he has a home. He has a family. He is still learning all these skills he needs to become independent. He has only been free for 2 1/2 years. We still have a long way to go.
I can't imagine not having life the way it is today. I just hope seeing our family will make more families consider special needs adoption.

Three Adoptions Five Years in the Making

2011-03-30T20:37:00.000-04:00

We signed alot of papers today for Varsha's (Valerie on Reeces Rainbow) adoption. This is an amazing story that I never would have imagined. God's plans are written all over this adoption. Let me start with some background information.
In the weeks that I spent on Dillon's waiting child page, a little boy stuck out. His birthday was March 30th. That is a special day for our family because that is Anthony's birthday. The medical information sounded manageable to us. The only problem was that Patrick wanted a little girl. I didn't mind either way. There were several girls listed and I started to narrow down the list. I found a girl that the medical information looked well within our limits.
On January 23, 2006 I inquired about that little girl. I fell in love with Ananya at first glance. She was our princess from that first moment.
But I kept an eye on that little boy. He was still waiting month after month. I knew another adoption would be a long time away. I was waiting for someone to go get him.
I was also waiting for our never ending adoption to finish so I could hold this little girl. I waited 13 months to hold that little girl. Alot of tears and frustration were in our home. I was just about emotionally broken. Well to be honest, I was broken and traumatized. Those were the longest 13 months of my life.
Right before we left, our agency rep sent out a quick description of some waiting boys and referred people to the waiting child pages. I jumped on over out of curiosity. The same little boy was still waiting. 13 months later he was waiting. He had the same birthday as my baby boy (who was 9). I told Patrick I wanted a little boy. He had no clue what I was talking about. Once he processed the information, he agreed to meet this little boy. We got pictures of that boy, Prasun. I held him. We took Ananya home.I spend a couple weeks randomly looking at that picture. Thinking of holding that boy. I was scared. Was I ready for 2 little ones with lots of delays? What if he was the one to stay with us forever? I think after about 2 weeks, I knew. I told Patrick and waited for him to agree. I didn't push. I knew if it was right then God would tell Patrick.
3 months later, out of the blue, my husband walks up to me and tells me to adopt that little boy. I was so happy. I wasn't scared anymore. No matter what this was the right path. I think most people thought we were losing our minds.
Another never ending adoption. A rough adjustment to 3 kids. I was exhausted. For a couple months, I really didn't care if we ever had more kids. 6 months later I was investigating foster care adoption. Lots of craziness happened.
I was on a blog that linked to Reeces Rainbow. I was just checking out the site and found 1 Indian girl. That one girl was available for adoption through the agency we had used 2 times. Contact information was listed for her. All the other kids had no contact information listed. Just this little Indian Princess. I emailed our case worker.We got approval from the agency to adopt out of birth order, from the orphanage, and we were ready.
Lots of delays. The never ending adoption process. Again.
Today we finally get acceptance paperwork to sign. We made it to the bank to get the papers notarized. I didn't even read the directions before we left. Had no clue what I was doing (in all the small paperwork details). We got the papers notarized though. We had dinner to celebrate the boys birthday. It was a special day.
I went to start signing the medical information for Varsha. I decided to peak through the old paperwork they sent for our information. Almost all of it I've read. Several months ago.
EXCEPT ONE PAGE....
It was dated 1-23-06. It had my name on it.
You see. The day I inquired about Ananya, the agency faxed us the information on the wrong little girl. I looked at the birthdate and knew the information wasn't right. I was waiting for information on a girl born 2-25-05. This little girl was 3 years old.
I called and got them to fax the information on Ananya. It was always part of the story, but just a quirky detail.
UNTIL TONIGHT.
Tonight I realized that 5 years ago God was giving me a sneak peak. I was seeing my daughter, but in His Grace He was showing me the 2 other children that would follow.
This isn't the first time God has done such things with me.
When I was 8 weeks pregnant with Anthony. 17 and scared to death with no idea how to do it, God showed me a little boy. That vision changed my life. I knew I had seen my son. 3 years later, one day I just saw it. This time not a vision, but my reality. I saw that little boy again. The little boy that God showed me was my son and 3 years later he was running wild in my house.
I am completely in awe tonight. I can't wait to sign all these forms and get our paperwork to India. We are ready to have Varsha in our arms.
Paperwork isn't the only thing standing in our way. Unfortunately, we still need to raise ALOT of money. We have a family sponsor page on Reeces Rainbow. Just click the red icon at the top of the page. You can donate through our Chip in below it. It goes to Reeces Rainbow as well. We just want our daughter home.
With God, All Things Are Possible.
This is our story. Please help us to spread the word. Help us raise this money. $5 will be an incredible help to get us to India. To our Princess. Varsha Hope.

Thank You Patricia!

2011-03-29T17:58:00.000-04:00

Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond has found Reece's Rainbow. Now she is donating up to $10,000, $1 for each person that follows Reece's Rainbow on Twitter.
Please go to Twitter and follow to help raise money. It is a great cause.