Prasun

This is the first year. You are 4 and this is the first year you have celebrated a birthday with your family. God has had an awesome plan for you since your birth. You are a special boy. You are my special boy.
I can't believe you are 4. You have been with us for only 4 1/2 months. It seems like so much longer. I can't believe how you've changed. I can't wait to see how you continue to change. How you grow into yourself.
In less than 5 months, you understand English. You speak English. It is amazing. It seems like everyday you learn a new word. How can I resist picking you up when you say "Hunnee" in that sweet voice.
You are amazing. When Ananya is upset, you constantly ask me "Ananya, Ananya?" You want to make sure your sister is ok. You crawl up and grab my leg and hug me. In 4 short months, you have learned to look at me and melt my heart with 2 words, "love you." You give them without thought or prompting.
You are such a good brother to Ananya. You love to play with her. I'm not sure 2 of you would know what to do without each other anymore. I love to watch you wrestle with her.
I am so happy to have you. I was overwhelmed to meet you in India again. You had grown so much in the 18 months we were apart. You went from a baby to a big boy. My big boy.
Prasun,
You amaze me. You pick up on things in an instant. You reflect my facial expressions that I didn't know that I made. You repeat my words. I hope I can lead you to be a great person. I will always be here. Waiting to witness your next accomplishment.
I love you.
Happy Birthday.
Love Mommy (or as you have started calling me "Jo").

My First Born

Eleven years ago I could not have imagined today. My baby is 11. Today I heard you say the word "puberty". I can't believe it.
We have had a busy 11 years. You have always been my patient child. You have always just rolled with the punches and gone right along. Even with the most insanity, you just kept going.
You have this love for everything. You are kind to everyone you meet. You love animals. You amaze me.
I have watched you bond with your sister and I'm amazed. You have this huge bond with Ananya. I know that she will always be safe with you. You look after her and always are willing to give her a few minutes to play. I have watched you love her from the moment she came to us in the orphanage.
I have watched you develop a bond with your brother. I have seen it being more difficult, but know the entire situation has been different. It may have been different if you were in India with me to meet him. I see you care for him and love to watch you play with him.
I have watched you adjust from being an only child to being a sibling and big brother. I have watched as you have learned to share everyone in your life. I have watched you give the spotlight to your sister and then your brother.
I have tortured you with 2 years of homeschool. I hope I have taught you something. I do see you growing. Becoming more responsible. I have enjoyed the time we have had together more than you will ever know. I love having you with me everyday.
Anthony,
I love you. You were my first baby and always will be. I have enjoyed ever moment you have been in my life. I can't wait to see what the next 11 years will bring. I hope I can continue to show you the world. I see you changing the world. I hope I can help you.
You are my baby. I love you.
Happy 11th Birthday!
Love Mom

An Update

I haven't posted in forever and thought it was time for an update.
I have not had time lately to sit down and write anything in forever. I wish I could blog more but some days I don't feel like I have time to think let alone write. We have been very busy. I think the count was 14 doctors appointments in 8 weeks. We have increased our therapy schedule with the school, so we are there everyday. I have the last 2 appointments this week and then Ananya has botox next Friday. I actually had to add a couple appointments for dental cleanings. I'm almost done though. April and May are looking kind of empty. I'm so happy. After the warm weather last week, I want some time to just run around outside with the kids. I've figured out how to give Anthony extra soccer practice time and the little kids can practice walking. I take them to a park nearby and lock ourselves in the tennis courts. Me and Anthony run and chase the soccer ball and the little kids have plenty of room to walk in their walkers.
We had a visit from Grammy and Pap-paw a couple weeks ago. It was very nice to get to see them. I hope maybe I can get to PA for a couple days this summer. We had a little party to celebrate birthdays. I thought cake was a great idea since all the kids have birthdays within a month.
Anthony is doing well. He is playing indoor soccer and enjoying it. I hate that he has Saturday games because I have to work and haven't gone. I go to most of his practices. Its not really the same though. I can't wait to not have to work every weekend. It will be a few years though. I need to be at home during the week. The arrangement works for now. We are still home schooling and are planning to send him back to private school next year. I don't know how he is going to handle the early mornings, but I guess he'll have to adjust. He has never been a morning person.
Ananya is doing so awesome. She has come out of her shell. We just past the marker for her being home as long as she was in the orphanage. It really did make a difference. She took one look at her Pap-paw and wanted him to pick her up. She doesn't fight any of the therapists. We even changed 2 of the therapists and she hasn't had any issues. She is starting to talk some. Mama, Dada, and she sings the SpongeBob song. It is too cute. She is drinking out of a sippy cup, trying to feed herself more, and chewing more often. She is just so cute and stubborn. I can't believe she is 4 already. I love having her home with me all day.
Prasun is doing very well. He has a good vocabulary. He doesn't revert to what we think is Bengali, which is sad, very often. He is putting 2 words together and can tell you what he wants alot. He likes all the therapist and playing in his walker. He and Ananya stayed at my MIL's this weekend because P had to go out of town. Yesterday he woke up with this look on his face. I immediately knew it was too soon. I messed up. He was just like he was in India. Wouldn't sit up and he threw up. He was in and out of it. He didn't want to work with the therapists. I'm hoping today is better. He seemed fine last night. I'm so glad I'm home all week with them. I know that will help him. He is so funny though. He doesn't like to stay home. He has adjusted so well to all our appointments. He tries to tell P all weekend that he needs to go bye, bye. It feels like he has been here with us forever.
I've been struggling lately. There is just so much to do everyday. It wears me out. I can't get everything done. I hoping its just a mood that I'll snap out of soon. I can't find the right person to vent to. Everyone keeps telling me that I have so much on my plate and that they don't know how I do it. I realized yesterday that I'm looking for someone to just tell me that I'm whining and that I need to quit. I need someone to tell me its not that bad. It really isn't. I just wish there were 2 of me so I could do more of what I want to do and not what I have to do. There. I said it. I'm selfish and want to do whatever I want. I know everyone has these thoughts. I'm very blessed to have a husband that will let me lock myself in our room some nights for a few hours.
Well I have to go. I haven't gotten the kids up and its 9:30. They aren't making noise so I thought I would finish. We are all doing well. My house is a mess. I'm hoping I get to it today. If not, it will be there tomorrow (and the next day). I'll try to post a few pictures and the video of the cake eating later today.