Another Voice on Special Needs

Adopting a special needs child is a journey full of adventures, unknowns, ups and downs, frustrations, and great celebrations. Come to think of it, parenting in general is the same journey! My favorite response to people when they voice concerns about adopting because of the health adopted children is that there is no perfect person. All of us have imperfections and special needs. We envision a very healthy, attractive, and smart child whose personality meshes fluidly with ours. We can easily review medical information on a child and piously think that good old American food, medicine, and a loving family will ensure positive outcomes. Certainly that can and does happen. My Korean-born daughter was a thirty week, three pound preemie. We were aware that there could be some unknowns, in her future. She received excellent care before coming to us and for that we are so grateful. She is super healthy and smart! However, this does not always happen. Some children arrive with undiagnosed medical or developmental conditions. Our Korean-born son had minor medical conditions on his paperwork. After he had been with us for several months, we discovered more involved medical and developmental hurdles he must overcome. He is just as much a miracle to our family as our daughter. His life is always a struggle compared to other children his age. We have altered family plans and even our residence to ensure access to the best available resources. He has taught us that love doesn’t need words to be expressed, that we must be aware of the small things that cause some children great distress, and to celebrate every milestone he reaches, no matter how delayed they are. I’ve opened my eyes to all the awesome children in the world deserving families, but nobody wants to parent them because of special needs.

Now, off my soapbox and on to practical words. As a Christian, I believe that God leads us to the children he ordained for us to parent. We prayed for God to show us where to adopt from and what agency. After researching many agencies, word of mouth recommendations led us to Dillon International. Find an agency willing to answer all the technical questions before you get deep into the process. Talk to families who have used the agencies you are interested. When considering a waiting child, find a doctor willing to openly review and discuss the paperwork. Fax the info to Dr. Dana Johnston in Minnesota. His clinic is very experienced with international adoption. Remember, though, no matter what opinions the medical community gives you, the call of God to adopt a certain child is undeniable. Sometimes the reports we get from doctors is discouraging. God can work wonders to heal, supply grace, patience, and resources when He calls you to adopt a special needs child.

Just because a child has some challenges, that child is not defined by his/her circumstances. Special needs children are real, whole people who deserve to be loved and appreciated beyond the diagnosis.

This post was written by Libby S of Texas. She is wife to Mike and the mom to 3 wonderful children, Carter, Abby and Dillon. Thanks Libby for your input.

Some Remodeling and Tid bits

I've been working on re-formatting all my blogs a little. I've even added to Anthony's Blog. You should be able to visit different sites by clicking on the pictures in the sidebar. I've added a couple of lists like my workout schedule for the week and books that I would like to read. Funny enough I added the book list because I keep writing lists lately and forgetting where I've put it. I can't ever find a book I want at the library if I keep forgetting the name.
I've been blogging for Red Letter Campaigns, or at least started. I've offered to open my blog to some friends I've met through our adoptions to put their thoughts out there. I know some great writers and didn't want the world to miss what they have to say. I should have a new post up on special needs adoption tomorrow. I didn't want to confuse people with pictures of family's that aren't mine.

I Finished My First Race.

OK. Not the best picture. This is the race tag from my very first 5K. I finished my race on July 4th in 39:45. Its not the world's fastest time, but I finished. I'm happy to have finished. I'm going to register for a 10K November 8th. I'll try to remember to take some pictures next time. My goal is to finish the Marine Corps Marathon in 2009. I'm really excited because I've wanted to do this for several years now. I just wasn't using my brain because I never broke it into smaller goals. Now I've got the 10K, then in the spring I'll do a half marathon around here and that will give me at least 5 months to build up to the whole 26.2 miles.

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough tostare up the steps - we must step up the stairs.-- Vance Havner

Special Needs Adoption

OK. I'm going to be quite frank in my answer to the blogbuzz question this week. We chose special needs adoption not once but twice now. I have no doubt that given the opportunity, we will chose this route again. I don't think my husband and I ever thought of adopting a healthy white female newborn. Heck, I never even thought of adopting a healthy Indian (or any other nationality) child for that matter.
In locating our agency, we went through the waiting children files online. Constantly. On as many sites as possible.
I looked at sibling groups and older children. I looked at every disability you can think of.
Our agency, Dillon, has a special needs checklist that you fill out with the formal application. Ours had alot of Maybe's, a few (probably 5) no's, and then some yes. In filling in that checklist, I had 1 thing on my mind. Would I parent this child if I gave birth to them. The answer to that question was almost always yes. Even the few No's, I know that we may have accepted a referral. I know without a doubt that we would have parented a biological child.
This is where my reasoning gets frank.
I can not think of many situations where I could give my child up for adoption. I know of a couple people I work with who have been faced with tough situations. The ones where one child will physically and intentionally hurt you or your other children. That is the only situation where I feel like I have to say no. I don't feel like I can tell God himself that He is wrong. We had such peace about both of our adoptions that we are certain that God is giving us these children to raise.
Now on to what to do with a special needs referral:
1-find a doctor to talk to. If the first one won't take the time, then find another one. The same goes for therapists.
2-Research the condition. Find out what the medical community is doing with it today. This is important. There may be new treatments in the last couple years. There maybe new tests. There may be clinical trials. It is worth looking into while you have the time.
3-Contact your health insurance. You may be able to get a nurse who does case management. This way you know what is covered, what is not, if there are limits you need to be aware of.
4-Find the doctors who you want to treat your child.
5-Find out who does evaluations for early intervention and smart start through our state and county. I figure, I pay taxes then I should get my share of the services.
6-This is actually the most important. PRAY about it. Ask for God to lead you through the decision. Some days it is a hard road. Other days are great.
I don't think that my family has done anything special by adopting special needs children. They are the light of our lives. I don't feel like my son gets any less because his sister has a disability. I think he has grown because of it.
I would love to see more people adopt special needs/waiting children. It is an awesome experience.