Alternate Title: Giving Your Children to God
This isn't today. Its from our first trip but isn't she cute.
Ananya underwent botox injections to her hamstring this morning for the third time. She is doing awesome. I must say though that this isn't getting any easier.
I'll get real for Angel like she did in this post.
Essentially, for us, having a child with special needs isn't difficult. We are very lucky. I knew that this morning as I walked into Brenner's Childrens Hospital. My children, all 3 of them, are healthy. We have never had more than random fevers, strep throat, Scarlett fever, and malaria. The babies were frail when they were little, but the orphanage took care of that well before we got them. We have 2 diagnosis of seizure disorders and not a seizure among them. God has blessed us so much. The procedures that we have are optional. They are to try and increase range of motion and increase function. It has worked wonderfully so far.
We go to therapy anywhere between 1 and 3 times a week. All of this is gravy.I mean it's not much more than raising Anthony was. I enjoy so much every milstone that Ananya accomplishes and can't wait to add Prasun to the family to watch him grow. Cerebral Palsy at this level is very managable. Its not scary, like most people think. We fully anticipate Ananya and Prasun to lead normal lives. We just have to keep working to get them there.
The botox injections test me. You see I'm a nurse. Watching them start the IV is fine. Not a problem. I watched one time while they put sutures in Anthony's head just an inch or 2 away from his eye. I was ok mommy wise. This morning however the hospital staff just about had to peel me off the ceiling. After the IV, they gave Ananya her sleepy-time medicine. She was looking around 1 minute and then there was the glazed over look. I think I ran out of the room. I know I hustled out. I must have had a look because the Dr got my attention to say they would take good care of her and be done in few minutes. I paced the waiting room for about 20 minutes. I only sat down because someone else came in and I knew they were waiting to have the same procedure. I didn't want to freak their 2 kids out.
I'm even fine when they let me come back before she wakes up. I don't mind standing next to her for like 30 minutes trying to get her to wake up. I'm completely fine. Its just the time that she is asleep. It is so scary for me. When I'm at work I handle most things fine. Function very well understress. Take good care of patients. I have no problem with unstable patients, except when its a breathing thing. I feel trapped when the problem is their lungs. I can't intubate them. I can do the whole bag thing for breathing, but I can fix the problem. Heart stuff, I have drugs and can kind of get things going in the right direction. Breathing is another story. So I guess I kind of freak everytime Ananya has botox because they get out the ambu-bag. That scares me.
I deeply admire everyone whose kids have had any kind of surgery. Like I said, we are so lucky. We are doing an elective outpatient procedure. They don't do any cutting. Its just some little shots. This really is the little stuff.
I'm so glad that this mornning is over. In a month, when we go for the post-op visit, I'll push to have the procedure re-done in 4 months instead of 6 because Ananya gets so tight. I'll hold her while they put in the IV, pace the waiting room during the procedure, and kiss my baby repeatedly for the first minute I'm back in the room. I'll pray for her during the procedure. I'll pray for myself. God gave me peace today. I just knew she would be ok. I am just trying to control a situation that I have no control over. I know that my kids are just a loan from God. They are His. I'm just a fiercely protective momma bear.